Tell me, are you feeling strong?

while I listened to Mcfly's song, titled shine a light, i was wonderstruck with the opening lyric.

this is the citation:
Tell me, are you feeling strong?
strong enough to love someone.

DANG.
I just realized that loving someone also requires a strength.
dan gw berpikir dlm hati, iya juga sih. kalo mau jatuh cinta, hrs berani sakit hati lagi, hrs belajar nerima kelakuan2 org baru yg mungkin gak cocok, hrs ini, hrs itu, so forth n so on. tuh kan hrs kuat. haha

anddd yeah, I think during that time, I was just not strong enough to walk in a new path with a wounded leg. I was just too afraid to stumble and fall in the same hole. (aseeek analoginya! haha) that was why I haven't been brave enough to start the new path. i was just not strong enough.

but, now, I declare that I regain my strength and I'm strong enough to wander again. :)

I get the Fullbright Scholarshippp!!

Woohoooooooo, today I'm so blessed. From morning til evening, I experienced my day as usual. Announcing, practicing debate, doing team assignments, eating, and going back to dorm. butt, when I opened my laptop and signed in to my mail, my eyes stuck at an email from AMINEF (American Indonesian Exchange Foundation). then my heart pumped my blood up so fast. I wasnt brave to see the email. But finally when I opened it, I was so damn surprised seeing the first word :congratulation!
then I read all the letter. andddd I'm accepted as one of The global undergraduate exchange Program 2011 in USA!!! I will spend 6months to study in the university there!
it was so unbelievable. I read, read, and read again. i read it almost 3times to make sure that i'm in! haha.

and yeah, i'm in!

Really. It's such a pleasure for me to get this golden opportunity.
I also humbly dedicate my achievement to my lovely parents, my sists and bro, my big family, my lecturer, my teachers, and also my friends. without them, I won't be able to arrive at the point where I'm now.

and the best part of this is that I feel blessed with all people surrounding me who love me so much!
some of my friends even successfully made me barely cry with all the greetings!

I love you all guys!
and for other who wanna join, please dont hesitate to ask me and see the big poster on the 3rd floor of FISIP.

the analogy from Bawa Muhaiyaddeen, the Sufist

Ketika air hujan berkumpul dan akan ada bahaya dari banjir, apa yang kita butuhkan adalah sebuah bendungan untuk menampung air.

Kita memilih untuk menghentikan laju air atau mengalihkannya. Hal yang sama, ketika pikiran kekanakan membanjiri akal pikiran dan kearifan kita dengan air yang keruh dari keraguan dan ketidakpedulian, apa yang kita butuhkan adalah bendungan dari kearifan dan iman yang sempurna.

Kita harus memilih apakah mengalihkan pikiran-pikiran keruh mengalir menuju lautan ilusi atau menampung air yang keruh dengan bendungan yang kuat untuk mengalirkannya menuju danau. Jika bendungan dari iman dan kearifan yang sempurna bisa dibangun, kotoran akan mengendap kedasar danau, dan engkau akan bisa menggunakan airnya yang bersih untuk diminum atau untuk menyediakan air bagi ternak-ternak dan ladangmu.

The Inspiring Theosophical Discussion

Last Sunday, I joined the theosophical discussion. Actually It had been my 3rd time to join. But last meeting was totally inspiring for me.
The theme was Islam Sufi: Personal experience and awakening of Sufist.
The discussion was led by Mbak Tessa, who has lot of experiences that successfully made me dumbfounded!

Initially I went there because I wanted to know more about Sufi. What I've been knowing, Sufi is one sect of Islam who separate themselves from mundane (political and social) by living in mountain and experiencing the extreme and tough life. That's what they do in searching their God.
But yesterday I knew the history of Sufi and what's the essence from their action.

Sufi literally means wool because in the past Sufist used only wool for their clothes as the rejection to the mundane life. or Sufist can be a front liners. because when they did Sholat, they used to take the front line as the form of their commitment in interpret religion as a facilty to God, not only for a symbol.

These are some points that I noted from the core value of Sufi and Mbak Tessa's response:

1. The Key of happiness is lower expectation
to get what's so called happiness, you must have lower expectation. It's line with Buddhism that the root of all problems is the desire. the more you exaggerate your desire, the more you suffer!

2. Ambillah makanan yang hanya bisa kamu jangkau! - was taken from Prophet's story-
it means dont be greedy! see how many people try to do this and that and finally they fall in desperation because they cant attain that.

3. Bagus tuh kalau orang bingung, itu namanya kamu hidup.
This was the response from Mbak Tessa when someone declared bout her perplexity in what actually life is for. this response also did answer my inner question and yeah she told us that dont be afraid if you started to be critical and ask anything bout life, it means you are alive and you are sane. insane people even dont have any question. So dont be afraid to face that perplexity, you will find the answer by your own way.

4. Dont think the fish's head all the time.
This was taken from the one of the Islam Prophet's story. one day, there was a spiritual teacher ( I dont remember the name) who asked his student to go to another teacher's house. only to deliver his greetings. This teacher lived in a very filthy house, so it internalized to the student's mind that every teacher should be live in austerity. But how dumbfounded he was, when he arrived in another teacher's house and it was unbelievably luxurious. Then after the student delivered his teacher's greeting to this another teacher, he got the message from this 2nd teacher to be delivered again to his teacher. The message was 'dont think the fish's head all the time'. Although the student confused, he kept telling his teacher the message. then abruptly his teacher cried. the student who very confused bout his teacher's reaction, kept asking why on earth suddenly the teacher cried. and the teacher said that everyday he only ate fish's head and bring the fish's meat to unfortunate children. and he was really proud to do that. he felt like he was the hero. meanwhile, this another teacher, although he had abundant of money and extravagant house, his mind never clung on his wealth. The teacher felt so embarrassed when his mind kept clinging on the pride to be a hero.
So, next time you meet a very rich man, dont judge him easily as a cocky man. because perhaps we re more cocky than them. yeah who knows? we arent in their position so just dont judge. (haha. i'm still learning too)


After all, I think Sufi embraces the basic reason of why and what's for human live, regardless what religion you believe in. I dont want to be trapped by the linguistic or jargons because I think those jargons only detract the real essence of that basic reason. I believe every religion has this basic. for example, Islam has the concept of stage until you achieve an unity with God, such as: syariat-thariqat-haqiqat-and marifat.

syariat is the practical thingy and the highest stage is marifat when you are united with God.
Most of people are still in syariat. We can see how many people do practical worships, such as sholat or going to church or chanting. they also meek to the religion's prohibitions, like dont kill, dont steal, dont lie, etc.

If you have felt confused itself, Mbak Tessa told that it means we are on the way to the next stage, which is Thariqat. For the haqiqat, I dont really get what he meant.
But what I understand, after you ward off your mundane, take off all your desire, you can be united with God.

I think this kind of stages concept also happen in Buddhism , especially in meditation stages(well, at least I dont know yet whether this also happens in other religion) . For example: Sotapattimagga and phala; Sakadagamimagga and phalla; anagamimagga and phala, and arahattamagga and phala (this is the highest, you wont be born again)
in Buddhism, the concept of God is different. we dont use personification in describing God. for example we dont perceive God as the one who can be angry, the one who can be happy if we do good things. We perceive God as something is beyond human's mind and imagination. indefinite explanation.
that's why we say that God is not born, that's why God will not die, and That's why God is eternal.
we usually call this God's concept as a Nibbana. as the final destination that want to be achieved by every human being.
although we dont mention literally 'God' in our bible, but we take Nibbana as our God. because for many religions, God is their final goal. They do good deeds, in order to please God and to live in heaven. That's the same thing that Buddhists do.

so,I come to the final conclusion that regardless what title or name of your religion, It's actually there is one basic reason and purpose of why we are here. we just dont find it yet. we are still on the way.

Memelihara Republik, Mengaktifkan Akal Sehat

Indonesia hanya bersatu dalam nusa, bangsa dan bahasa. Kita tidak ingin bersatu dalam urusan agama, tatakrama dan busana. Kita menyelenggarakan Republik agar kita bisa berselisih dalam soal-soal dunia, dan bukan bertengkar untuk soal-soal akhirat.

Dalam pergaulan global itulah kita melatih akal sehat kita, agar kita tidak cuma sanggup mencerca tanpa arah, atau marah ke segala arah. Reaksi-reaksi primitif itu hanya akan menguras energi mental kita, untuk akhirnya menyerah pada kecepatan pikiran dunia.

dari kepemimpinan serba-tanggung tidak mungkin terbit gagasan serba agung

Pepatah Itali mengingatkan: "Bila akal sehat tertidur, maka para monsterlah yang menguasai malam"


Rocky Gerung dalam Pidato Kebudayaan, Dewan Kesenian Jakarta,10 Nopember 2010, Memelihara Republik, Mengaktifkan Akal Sehat

2 ugly bricks and chicken-duck

It has been a week after I attended Ajahn Brahm and Rimpoche’s Dhamma Talk in Central Park. They were two people who really inspires me on how I perceive life. Now, I wanna focus on Ajahn Brahm’s preaching.

For those of you who haven’t known who Ajahn Brahm is. Ajahn Brahm is a monk who was born in London. He is Bachelor of Physics Theory from Cambridge University and after teaching for a year, he moved to Thailand and became a monk. He has become the best seller for his published books, such as Cacing dan Kotoran Kesayangannya, Superpower Mindfulness, Hidup senang matipun tenang, and Si Cacing dan Kotoran kesayangannya ke-2. All these books get high appreciation from many people regardless their religions because his books indeed contains universal value, in the sense of you don’t need to be a Buddhist to understand what he writes in the books. Moreover, the way he tells the story is really funny and trample on the earth. He seldom uses jargons or Pali language so we can enjoy ourselves in reading his books.

In his first book, he ever told a story about a happy newlywed which was walking around in the bank of lake and suddenly heard ‘kwek kwek’ sounds. Later on, they debated and fought each other about what sound was that actually. They had a fierce debate until the wife cried and finally the husband yielded and admitted it was a chicken. The husband realized that it’s not important whether it’s duck or chicken but as long as they can work together in harmony and peace, it’s more than enough.
His another story about the difference is also published in his first book. Which is about 2 ugly bricks among 98 good bricks. He said that why we often stare and highlight the 2 ugly bricks meanwhile we have another 98 bricks.

After I read and hear these two stories, I relate it with the newly religion conflict in Indonesia. We got FPI who did violence towards Ahmadiyah in Cikeusik and Temanggung because Ahmadiyah believes the different Prophet. They are just like the person who keep staring the 2 ugly bricks – in this case, it means the difference- and like those spouses who keep debating over their own beliefs meanwhile there’s no one know which one is true. Meanwhile, actually we can live in a harmony and peace without debating minor points and did violence.

Ajahn Brahms himself told his experience in respecting the religion differences. When he went to a Christian school, the principal said that Ajahn Brahm did not need to bow down to the Christian cross. But surprisingly Ajahn Brahm demanded his right to bound and when the principle asked why he kept insisting to bow down towards other religion’s symbol. Ajahn Brahm just answed it nicely: “ I see the good values in your religion and I bow down for that.” I was so amazed on HOW IF his generosity also applies here, definitely there’s no such a religious conflict.

The collection of inspiring quotes from Dhamma Talk

Jika anda melatih kesadaran, anda akan sadar bahwa aku itu ilusi -Bhante Sri Pannavaro-

Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche in Beautiful Heart, Peaceful Mind, Central Park, 20th March 2011

-Buddha said that we need compassion and wisdom. They are like bird wings. We cannot
choose one because birds cannot fly without another wings.

-Life is same like stock market. Up and Down. If the stock market is flat, there will be no advantages.

-Letting it go isn't same as giving up. You can let it go, but don't give up. because we have compassion, wisdom, and skills, we can find another ways.

-Don't be too focus on result! because remember life is stock market. Lose one, get another one.

-If you hold the glass too tight, you will get extra problems. If too loose, the goal will not be achieved. The point is you need to relax. Don't force yourself too hard, but you still must do efforts to achieve the goal.


Ajahn Brahm,in Beautiful Heart, Peaceful Mind, Central Park, 20th March 2011

- Don't let others to control your happiness!

- A few minutes ago, I was in toilet. Now I'm here, I'm happy too. The point is you need to be happy wherever you are.
-My first book, Opening Your Heart, was sold in bookstore but at the part of medical surgery. I think it's right, because if you wanna do surgery, you open your heart first.
- If you are praised, accept it. By accepting, you won't have a big head, but you have a big heart.

- Read in Cacing dan Kotoran Kesayangganya, find out more at the story of spouses who took a walk and fought each other upon the duck and chicken problem. It's not important to win the debate, if you wrecked the relationship

Bhante Uttamo, Hoki-Kamma-Keberuntungan, Vihara Saddhapala,
- Orang yang tidak kuat pasti dia akan berkata yang lain menyiksa diri

- Ayo coba tunjukkan penderitaan ke saya dan saya akan tunjukkan nilai positivnya.
Umat: Mati dimutilasi
Bhante: Bagus, irit peti mati. bahkan mungkin bisa pake kantong plastik kresek

Umat: Rumah kena tsunami
Bhante: Ya baguslah tidak usah bongkar rumah lagi. Apalagi pemerintah Jepang mengasuransi.

Umat: sakit parah
Bhante: Gunakan kemampuan ini untuk mnenyikapi realita.


Orang sukses itu mencari sebab kesuksesannya, dipelajari, dan ditingkatkan.
Orang gagal itu juga mencari sebab kegagalannya, dipelajari, dan dihindari.


*with rephrasing the sentences and keep maintaining the basic essence*

realist? idealist?

abruptly, randomly, I'm thinking about the realist and idealist.
Realist believes that basically every person is power seeking that's why their nature will create chaois.

idealist believes that every person can cooperate each other to solve the problem.

I haven't choosen where I am into. There's always a debate inside my mind.
To observe the basic of human's nature, I imagine how if in the world, there are only 2 persons. Will they kill each other to get the power over the other? or will they cooperate each other in order to survive?

But wherever I am, I see that being realist or idealist is influenced by their culture. For instance, in my trashy perspective, Most of western are realist because they are educated to be high achiever. This nature makes them to seek more power and self centered.
It's different with Asian culture which is more prioritizing togetherness than self centered.

sometimes I'm a realist,Sometimes the way I'm thinking is so idealist, but it doesnt necessarily mean I'm utopis. I still trample my feet on earth, I adjust my dream with the fact. So?

I dont know.



posted by someone who still confuse whether she's idealist or realist (and then she realizes who cares?!HAHA)

i'm not.

i'm not idealist that screams and demonstrates in front of DPR building.
I'm working on my own style.
I don't demand those old-bastard-corruptors to stop corrupting money.
But it doesn't mean I don't care.

I DO something to change it by my own way.
By studying hard academically and non-academically with the hope I can initiate something to change it.

this is the answer!

This is finally the answer of all my galau-ness regarding my nature -.-' I found this website from my friend, Boby, who stumbled upon to this behaviour calculator. But the result somehow amazed me on how almost accurate it is! Here it is...


from: http://www.paulsadowski.com/NameData.asp


You entered: Josefhine Chitra
There are 15 letters in your name.
Those 15 letters total to 78
There are 6 vowels and 9 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 6

The characteristics of #6 are: Responsibility, protection, nurturing, community, balance, sympathy.

The expression or destiny for #6:
The number 6 Expression provides you a truly outstanding sense of responsibility , love, and balance. The 6 is helpful and ever conscientious, making you quite capable of rectifying and balancing any sort of inharmonious situation. You are a person very much inclined to give help and comfort to those in need. You have a natural penchant for working with the old, the young, the sick, or the underprivileged. Although you may have considerable creative and artistic talents, the chances are that you will devote yourself to an occupation that shows concern for the betterment of the community.

The positive side of the number 6 suggests that you are very loving, friendly, and appreciative of others. You have a depth of understanding that produces much sympathetic, kindness, and generosity. The qualities of the 6 make the finest and most concerned parent and one often deeply involved in domestic activities. Openness and honesty is apparent in your approach to all relationships.

If there is an excess of the number 6 in your makeup, you may exhibit some of the negative traits associated with this number. There may be a tendency for you to be too exacting and demanding of yourself. In this regard, you may at times sacrifice yourself (or your loved ones) for the welfare of others. In some cases, the over zealous 6 has difficulty distinguishing helping from interfering. You may have difficulty expressing your own individuality, because of involvement with responsibilities and causes. Like all with the Expression of the number 6, it's quite likely that you worry much too much.

Your Soul Urge number is: 8

A Soul Urge number of 8 means:
With an 8 soul urge, you have a natural flair for big business and the challenges imposed by the commercial world. Power, status and success are very important to you. You have strong urges to supervise, organize and lead. Material desires are also very pronounced. You have good executive abilities, and with these, confidence, energy and ambition.

Your mind is analytical and judgment sound; you're a good judge of material values and also human character. Self-controlled, you rarely let emotions cloud judgment. You are somewhat of an organizer at heart, and you like to keep those beneath you organized and on a proper track. This is a personality that wants to lead, not follow. You want to be known for your planning ability and solid judgment.

The negative aspects of the 8 soul urge are the often dominating and exacting attitude. You may have a tendency to be very rigid, sometimes stubborn.

Your Inner Dream number is: 7

An Inner Dream number of 7 means:
You dream of having the opportunity to read, study, and shut yourself off from worldly distractions. You can see yourself as a teacher, mystic, or ecclesiastic, spending your life in the pursuit of knowledge and learning.


HAHAHA. this is soo mee!
for many times, I easily put symphaty to others until my dad warned me that I shouldnt help those people too much.

I'm stubborn, dominant, and tend to lead. it's no doubt! sometimes it becomes the trouble!

I used to have a balance life. I mean in high school I balance my geek part with dancing and joining in theatre. But I feel after I become univ student, I lose those parts!

and the part of : you are too demanding and often sacrifice my self for other's welfare -.-'

then my inner dream is also so true!! I really wish I can have the opportunity to read, study, and shut myself off from worldly distractions. I imagine I can go to a rural areas where I can bring all my books, without the distractions of internet, laptop, or HP. I'm planning too to have meditation practice to train my mind as well. but yeahh I still dont get the time :(

call me stupid but yes I am!

actually this post I've writen since 2 weeks ago. it's still relating with previous posts, about bustles. HAHAHA. (no other topic?) haemm whatever! i've warned you, this is my SCATTERED notions, so just enjoy drowned in my scattered trashy notions.


saturday. 12 March 2011.

Today I met with some people from kemenlu to talk bout PMUN preparation.Despite all the preparations, they are really nice persons to chat with, to laugh together, and to put their knowledges and experiences into my empty brain. I really adore them (mbak Gadis, Mbak Ika, and Mbak Nisa- on how they work in kemenlu.

Mostly we were talking bout life in kemenlu, from the silliest until the most painful stories. Mbak Gadis told us that working in kemenlu doesnt necessarily mean u have a good life. If you wanna devote your life to the people of Indonesia, you can apply to work there, but if you wanna work to pursue high income, just be enteurpreneur!

Then I looked into myself. Actually I havent decided clearly where I want to work after graduate. I'm kind of persons who really banyak maunya. and obviously working in kemenlu is in my list.
When Mbak Gadis stated that, I dont know why I wasn't deterred at all.

and I recollect my memories during my life. I'm kind of person who enjoy working in organizations, although some people said that I'm too stupid to squander my life for organization thingy than pursuing happiness for my life.
For many times, I should sacrifice my having fun and family gathering time for these things. I prioritized communal interests than my self interest (until sometimes I think, I'm too influenced by PPKN lesson during my elementary time in responsibility chapter)
When I sort my past experiences out, I conclude that yes, I am that kind of persons. person who think bout people first, than me. Okay call me stupid (it's okay some people call me so)

When I observes more about my deep feeling, I did that not because for attaining certain positions or acknowledgements, but I did it because I have a sense of belonging with what I wanna do.

I'm not such a fervent-idealist, so why the hell i'm so into to sacrifice my time to the goods of others? Dont ask me the rational explanation coz even i dont know. I became the head committee of some events because I have sense of belonging with my schools and university. I wanna foster their developments.
for example, why I wanna be the chairman of PMUN, it's because I wanna invigorate IREC and furthermore coz I wanna foster the education and consciousness of young high schooler to see the world from other perspectives. not only from mall to mall and BBing, Jco-ing, and sushi-ing (naon deui, cing? haha) But I wanna see them be more critical and widen their knowledges about world's problems.

I have that such dream because I have sense of belonging with Indonesia where I was born and growing *although I'm not indigenious*
this sense is so clingin on me. whenever I go abroad, I'm glad but I still miss Indonesia. the feeling is same like when I still miss my home, where my mom likes to be angry everyday for unimportant things and where I cant wake up at 11 am, although I have freedom in Bandung.

The feeling is same like when you sacrifice ur time after school and ur throat to yell and support ur school's or national football team. You do ur best efforts when you fall in love, when you get the sense!

The point is I should get that sense first before I accept responsibility. I take a look at organization that does not successfully nurture any kind of sense inside myself, I will be such dismissive bitch.

plans that can suicide myself slowly but surely.

I'm reading all the things *which i deemed as my grief* in my previous post. but now I wanna post again about my upcoming plans. call me stupid jerk -who really has known how exhausting to be so busy- but still want to put myself again inside those bustles with the justification I wanna break my limit and be productive as long as I can. *and forget that you are also human who needs happiness, moron!*

but well, this is still plan right? right? RIGHT? I still consider, deem, ponder them further.

1. joining KSMPMI debate competition
2. Joining N1 adjudicator in ALSA UI
3. joining UADC in Macao
4. joining mini excursion in Vietnam, which is organized by mbak suke
5. applying for being OCP in AIESEC cultural Pbox
6. applying ANU Asia Pasific week in Australia

The problem is I have skipped the classes too much! and if I join KSMPMI and ALSA UI, I so worry about my life in final exam. Unpar only allow the students to skipp the class for 3 times and I think I will exceed the limit. and it means I will be prohibited to have final exam. and it means I will retake the same class and it means I should pay the SKS again, which is getting more expensive every semesters.

and if I join UADC, I will skip the ispolglob, MIHI, and Kominter exams. although pak pius has allowed me to have susulan, butttt..... arrghh.
and not mention. i haven't told my parents yet. because I'm not that merciless to ask more money again from them. I think I can afford the money by myself because it's in Macao, but when I see my savings in the bank, ohhh, I'm so pessimistic. *someone give me money please)


I just knew this mini excursion plan in the diplomacy class today. It sounds interesting but heyyy it needs money againnnn. hah?! if i were a rich girl and my parents didnt have 4childrens to bear , of course i'd love to join. So, If I wanna do this, I should figure it out by myself!

applying OCP means It requires me spending more time and concern to do that. but I have left AIESEC for such a long time and I think this project is my great opportunity to involve again. and the date of the project is on my holiday. *okay ready to say byebye again to my holiday with family*

applying ANU in Australia. hmhhh actually it's so tempting because all the accomodations and meals will be provided by university and I can ask for the financial support, but I'm still not sure yet because I'm still waiting my Fullbright scholarship announcement.

despite all pro-cons above, all of them requires my time to practice. and I really miss spending my time with family in Jakarta. I really miss my having fun time.
But then I remember,this world is only for the people who keep struggling to survive in the battle. I just dont want to be the useless persons by spending my time with unproductive thingy, but the purpose of every human in this life is to be happy right? so why should I be so hard to be happy? *sigh* such a paradoxical life!

holaaa holaaa

huah it has been almost a year from the last time i wrote here. my life is so overwhelmed by grief-work-study-organization thingy-but also happiness as well.
There are lot of stories that you missed.
these are the list of my reasons why I haven't been here for long time:

1. Since November last year, I put all my concerns on HNMUN. Oh yeah,I was so lucky that I was accepted as one of UNPAR's HNMUN 2011 delegates. It was so unbelievable! and the happiest part is I really can go to USA! *say it again cing: USAAA*(oke enough! such a lebay norak style of you!) I mean, since the 1st time I saw the poster in university, I was really afraid of being accepted-but cant afford the costs that I should spend. Fortunately,my karma was ripe at the exact time, with some magical-unbelievable events-and super generous people surrounding me-finally i can go there. But, to get the sweet ripe mangoes, you should dig the dog's shit out and to make it mango trees' fertilizer (oke analogi yg aneh -.-') however, it was exactly what I and other fellow delegates did! we practice since last october (if i'm not mistaken) til february, 3 times a week, and not mention we should use our holiday to practice, discussing over world's issues, started from kosovo, african's decolonization, universal jurisdiction, international environmental law, religion conflict, etc. Imagine that we should read the study guide almost everyday- did simulation every week- researched on all topics. it's jusssttt soooooo damn crap! HAHA. and after we finally did the real simulation in HNMUN, it was even more damn crap than i've ever thought in my life. it was really concrete jungle! I admit I was a loser there. From the substances, delegates from UNPAR, there wasn't problem, but from the lobbying and designating the political strategy, ahh, i was really damn stupid! I dont know why! I'm the student of Faculty of Social and Politic, but I just dont get used to practice the real politic *at least not yet*, I always feel nauseous with all the fake intention. but well, overall I learned many things there :) It was more than enough from me! moreover, we got the finest trip during my lifetime! We traveled to Harvard Univeristy *I felt super WOW! i'm craving to be one of Harvard's students, majoring religion's symbols--> oke i'm too driven crazy by Dan Brown!) We also went to US Capitol, MOMA, UNHQ, PTRI, Liberty statue, etc. and was shopping like crazy! haha. (I was proud to spend less than any other friends, i successfully manage my finance as well and could control my shopaholic nature. haha)

2. My life experience above was like in wonderland. everyday I woke up, had breakfast, had trip til drop, went back to hotel, took a shower, and slept.What a life! haha. But still the great happiness comes along with the great responsibilities. after I went back to Indonesia, abundant of assignments and upcoming mid-exam welcomed me cordially! and dont ask me how I deal with the mid exam. it was super trashy. more than when I broke up with my ex and my mid exam still got good score (i dont know why), but my previous mid exam was totally messed up!

3. Along with HNMUN, I also presided the PMUN (Parahyangan Model United Nations). with all the presures, my team had to start all the publications in the early of November, whereas I officially became the chairman 2weeks before October ended. It was such a hectic days. Fortunately, I have all the generous-hard working-and super awesome committee who make this PMUN becomes a great experience. Now, we're still working on it til 1st-3rd may (the event) and not mention the LPJ thingy. *sigh* But regardless all my great tiredness, I really wish this PMUN can achive the target and socialized MUN among high schoolers. I sincerely wish this can be a milestone for young diplomats in the future or in international MUN. because the winners in MUN mostly are the ppl who have been experiencing MUN since high school, and that awareness is still lack in Indonesia.

4. not mention my other trivia activities which I love most: announcing, debating, practicing SKJ, working as EO, and the most vital part: my PROCRASTINATION which is getting acute :(