Tell me, are you feeling strong?

while I listened to Mcfly's song, titled shine a light, i was wonderstruck with the opening lyric.

this is the citation:
Tell me, are you feeling strong?
strong enough to love someone.

DANG.
I just realized that loving someone also requires a strength.
dan gw berpikir dlm hati, iya juga sih. kalo mau jatuh cinta, hrs berani sakit hati lagi, hrs belajar nerima kelakuan2 org baru yg mungkin gak cocok, hrs ini, hrs itu, so forth n so on. tuh kan hrs kuat. haha

anddd yeah, I think during that time, I was just not strong enough to walk in a new path with a wounded leg. I was just too afraid to stumble and fall in the same hole. (aseeek analoginya! haha) that was why I haven't been brave enough to start the new path. i was just not strong enough.

but, now, I declare that I regain my strength and I'm strong enough to wander again. :)

I get the Fullbright Scholarshippp!!

Woohoooooooo, today I'm so blessed. From morning til evening, I experienced my day as usual. Announcing, practicing debate, doing team assignments, eating, and going back to dorm. butt, when I opened my laptop and signed in to my mail, my eyes stuck at an email from AMINEF (American Indonesian Exchange Foundation). then my heart pumped my blood up so fast. I wasnt brave to see the email. But finally when I opened it, I was so damn surprised seeing the first word :congratulation!
then I read all the letter. andddd I'm accepted as one of The global undergraduate exchange Program 2011 in USA!!! I will spend 6months to study in the university there!
it was so unbelievable. I read, read, and read again. i read it almost 3times to make sure that i'm in! haha.

and yeah, i'm in!

Really. It's such a pleasure for me to get this golden opportunity.
I also humbly dedicate my achievement to my lovely parents, my sists and bro, my big family, my lecturer, my teachers, and also my friends. without them, I won't be able to arrive at the point where I'm now.

and the best part of this is that I feel blessed with all people surrounding me who love me so much!
some of my friends even successfully made me barely cry with all the greetings!

I love you all guys!
and for other who wanna join, please dont hesitate to ask me and see the big poster on the 3rd floor of FISIP.

the analogy from Bawa Muhaiyaddeen, the Sufist

Ketika air hujan berkumpul dan akan ada bahaya dari banjir, apa yang kita butuhkan adalah sebuah bendungan untuk menampung air.

Kita memilih untuk menghentikan laju air atau mengalihkannya. Hal yang sama, ketika pikiran kekanakan membanjiri akal pikiran dan kearifan kita dengan air yang keruh dari keraguan dan ketidakpedulian, apa yang kita butuhkan adalah bendungan dari kearifan dan iman yang sempurna.

Kita harus memilih apakah mengalihkan pikiran-pikiran keruh mengalir menuju lautan ilusi atau menampung air yang keruh dengan bendungan yang kuat untuk mengalirkannya menuju danau. Jika bendungan dari iman dan kearifan yang sempurna bisa dibangun, kotoran akan mengendap kedasar danau, dan engkau akan bisa menggunakan airnya yang bersih untuk diminum atau untuk menyediakan air bagi ternak-ternak dan ladangmu.

The Inspiring Theosophical Discussion

Last Sunday, I joined the theosophical discussion. Actually It had been my 3rd time to join. But last meeting was totally inspiring for me.
The theme was Islam Sufi: Personal experience and awakening of Sufist.
The discussion was led by Mbak Tessa, who has lot of experiences that successfully made me dumbfounded!

Initially I went there because I wanted to know more about Sufi. What I've been knowing, Sufi is one sect of Islam who separate themselves from mundane (political and social) by living in mountain and experiencing the extreme and tough life. That's what they do in searching their God.
But yesterday I knew the history of Sufi and what's the essence from their action.

Sufi literally means wool because in the past Sufist used only wool for their clothes as the rejection to the mundane life. or Sufist can be a front liners. because when they did Sholat, they used to take the front line as the form of their commitment in interpret religion as a facilty to God, not only for a symbol.

These are some points that I noted from the core value of Sufi and Mbak Tessa's response:

1. The Key of happiness is lower expectation
to get what's so called happiness, you must have lower expectation. It's line with Buddhism that the root of all problems is the desire. the more you exaggerate your desire, the more you suffer!

2. Ambillah makanan yang hanya bisa kamu jangkau! - was taken from Prophet's story-
it means dont be greedy! see how many people try to do this and that and finally they fall in desperation because they cant attain that.

3. Bagus tuh kalau orang bingung, itu namanya kamu hidup.
This was the response from Mbak Tessa when someone declared bout her perplexity in what actually life is for. this response also did answer my inner question and yeah she told us that dont be afraid if you started to be critical and ask anything bout life, it means you are alive and you are sane. insane people even dont have any question. So dont be afraid to face that perplexity, you will find the answer by your own way.

4. Dont think the fish's head all the time.
This was taken from the one of the Islam Prophet's story. one day, there was a spiritual teacher ( I dont remember the name) who asked his student to go to another teacher's house. only to deliver his greetings. This teacher lived in a very filthy house, so it internalized to the student's mind that every teacher should be live in austerity. But how dumbfounded he was, when he arrived in another teacher's house and it was unbelievably luxurious. Then after the student delivered his teacher's greeting to this another teacher, he got the message from this 2nd teacher to be delivered again to his teacher. The message was 'dont think the fish's head all the time'. Although the student confused, he kept telling his teacher the message. then abruptly his teacher cried. the student who very confused bout his teacher's reaction, kept asking why on earth suddenly the teacher cried. and the teacher said that everyday he only ate fish's head and bring the fish's meat to unfortunate children. and he was really proud to do that. he felt like he was the hero. meanwhile, this another teacher, although he had abundant of money and extravagant house, his mind never clung on his wealth. The teacher felt so embarrassed when his mind kept clinging on the pride to be a hero.
So, next time you meet a very rich man, dont judge him easily as a cocky man. because perhaps we re more cocky than them. yeah who knows? we arent in their position so just dont judge. (haha. i'm still learning too)


After all, I think Sufi embraces the basic reason of why and what's for human live, regardless what religion you believe in. I dont want to be trapped by the linguistic or jargons because I think those jargons only detract the real essence of that basic reason. I believe every religion has this basic. for example, Islam has the concept of stage until you achieve an unity with God, such as: syariat-thariqat-haqiqat-and marifat.

syariat is the practical thingy and the highest stage is marifat when you are united with God.
Most of people are still in syariat. We can see how many people do practical worships, such as sholat or going to church or chanting. they also meek to the religion's prohibitions, like dont kill, dont steal, dont lie, etc.

If you have felt confused itself, Mbak Tessa told that it means we are on the way to the next stage, which is Thariqat. For the haqiqat, I dont really get what he meant.
But what I understand, after you ward off your mundane, take off all your desire, you can be united with God.

I think this kind of stages concept also happen in Buddhism , especially in meditation stages(well, at least I dont know yet whether this also happens in other religion) . For example: Sotapattimagga and phala; Sakadagamimagga and phalla; anagamimagga and phala, and arahattamagga and phala (this is the highest, you wont be born again)
in Buddhism, the concept of God is different. we dont use personification in describing God. for example we dont perceive God as the one who can be angry, the one who can be happy if we do good things. We perceive God as something is beyond human's mind and imagination. indefinite explanation.
that's why we say that God is not born, that's why God will not die, and That's why God is eternal.
we usually call this God's concept as a Nibbana. as the final destination that want to be achieved by every human being.
although we dont mention literally 'God' in our bible, but we take Nibbana as our God. because for many religions, God is their final goal. They do good deeds, in order to please God and to live in heaven. That's the same thing that Buddhists do.

so,I come to the final conclusion that regardless what title or name of your religion, It's actually there is one basic reason and purpose of why we are here. we just dont find it yet. we are still on the way.

Memelihara Republik, Mengaktifkan Akal Sehat

Indonesia hanya bersatu dalam nusa, bangsa dan bahasa. Kita tidak ingin bersatu dalam urusan agama, tatakrama dan busana. Kita menyelenggarakan Republik agar kita bisa berselisih dalam soal-soal dunia, dan bukan bertengkar untuk soal-soal akhirat.

Dalam pergaulan global itulah kita melatih akal sehat kita, agar kita tidak cuma sanggup mencerca tanpa arah, atau marah ke segala arah. Reaksi-reaksi primitif itu hanya akan menguras energi mental kita, untuk akhirnya menyerah pada kecepatan pikiran dunia.

dari kepemimpinan serba-tanggung tidak mungkin terbit gagasan serba agung

Pepatah Itali mengingatkan: "Bila akal sehat tertidur, maka para monsterlah yang menguasai malam"


Rocky Gerung dalam Pidato Kebudayaan, Dewan Kesenian Jakarta,10 Nopember 2010, Memelihara Republik, Mengaktifkan Akal Sehat

2 ugly bricks and chicken-duck

It has been a week after I attended Ajahn Brahm and Rimpoche’s Dhamma Talk in Central Park. They were two people who really inspires me on how I perceive life. Now, I wanna focus on Ajahn Brahm’s preaching.

For those of you who haven’t known who Ajahn Brahm is. Ajahn Brahm is a monk who was born in London. He is Bachelor of Physics Theory from Cambridge University and after teaching for a year, he moved to Thailand and became a monk. He has become the best seller for his published books, such as Cacing dan Kotoran Kesayangannya, Superpower Mindfulness, Hidup senang matipun tenang, and Si Cacing dan Kotoran kesayangannya ke-2. All these books get high appreciation from many people regardless their religions because his books indeed contains universal value, in the sense of you don’t need to be a Buddhist to understand what he writes in the books. Moreover, the way he tells the story is really funny and trample on the earth. He seldom uses jargons or Pali language so we can enjoy ourselves in reading his books.

In his first book, he ever told a story about a happy newlywed which was walking around in the bank of lake and suddenly heard ‘kwek kwek’ sounds. Later on, they debated and fought each other about what sound was that actually. They had a fierce debate until the wife cried and finally the husband yielded and admitted it was a chicken. The husband realized that it’s not important whether it’s duck or chicken but as long as they can work together in harmony and peace, it’s more than enough.
His another story about the difference is also published in his first book. Which is about 2 ugly bricks among 98 good bricks. He said that why we often stare and highlight the 2 ugly bricks meanwhile we have another 98 bricks.

After I read and hear these two stories, I relate it with the newly religion conflict in Indonesia. We got FPI who did violence towards Ahmadiyah in Cikeusik and Temanggung because Ahmadiyah believes the different Prophet. They are just like the person who keep staring the 2 ugly bricks – in this case, it means the difference- and like those spouses who keep debating over their own beliefs meanwhile there’s no one know which one is true. Meanwhile, actually we can live in a harmony and peace without debating minor points and did violence.

Ajahn Brahms himself told his experience in respecting the religion differences. When he went to a Christian school, the principal said that Ajahn Brahm did not need to bow down to the Christian cross. But surprisingly Ajahn Brahm demanded his right to bound and when the principle asked why he kept insisting to bow down towards other religion’s symbol. Ajahn Brahm just answed it nicely: “ I see the good values in your religion and I bow down for that.” I was so amazed on HOW IF his generosity also applies here, definitely there’s no such a religious conflict.

The collection of inspiring quotes from Dhamma Talk

Jika anda melatih kesadaran, anda akan sadar bahwa aku itu ilusi -Bhante Sri Pannavaro-

Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche in Beautiful Heart, Peaceful Mind, Central Park, 20th March 2011

-Buddha said that we need compassion and wisdom. They are like bird wings. We cannot
choose one because birds cannot fly without another wings.

-Life is same like stock market. Up and Down. If the stock market is flat, there will be no advantages.

-Letting it go isn't same as giving up. You can let it go, but don't give up. because we have compassion, wisdom, and skills, we can find another ways.

-Don't be too focus on result! because remember life is stock market. Lose one, get another one.

-If you hold the glass too tight, you will get extra problems. If too loose, the goal will not be achieved. The point is you need to relax. Don't force yourself too hard, but you still must do efforts to achieve the goal.


Ajahn Brahm,in Beautiful Heart, Peaceful Mind, Central Park, 20th March 2011

- Don't let others to control your happiness!

- A few minutes ago, I was in toilet. Now I'm here, I'm happy too. The point is you need to be happy wherever you are.
-My first book, Opening Your Heart, was sold in bookstore but at the part of medical surgery. I think it's right, because if you wanna do surgery, you open your heart first.
- If you are praised, accept it. By accepting, you won't have a big head, but you have a big heart.

- Read in Cacing dan Kotoran Kesayangganya, find out more at the story of spouses who took a walk and fought each other upon the duck and chicken problem. It's not important to win the debate, if you wrecked the relationship

Bhante Uttamo, Hoki-Kamma-Keberuntungan, Vihara Saddhapala,
- Orang yang tidak kuat pasti dia akan berkata yang lain menyiksa diri

- Ayo coba tunjukkan penderitaan ke saya dan saya akan tunjukkan nilai positivnya.
Umat: Mati dimutilasi
Bhante: Bagus, irit peti mati. bahkan mungkin bisa pake kantong plastik kresek

Umat: Rumah kena tsunami
Bhante: Ya baguslah tidak usah bongkar rumah lagi. Apalagi pemerintah Jepang mengasuransi.

Umat: sakit parah
Bhante: Gunakan kemampuan ini untuk mnenyikapi realita.


Orang sukses itu mencari sebab kesuksesannya, dipelajari, dan ditingkatkan.
Orang gagal itu juga mencari sebab kegagalannya, dipelajari, dan dihindari.


*with rephrasing the sentences and keep maintaining the basic essence*