while I listened to Mcfly's song, titled shine a light, i was wonderstruck with the opening lyric.
this is the citation:
Tell me, are you feeling strong?
strong enough to love someone.
DANG.
I just realized that loving someone also requires a strength.
dan gw berpikir dlm hati, iya juga sih. kalo mau jatuh cinta, hrs berani sakit hati lagi, hrs belajar nerima kelakuan2 org baru yg mungkin gak cocok, hrs ini, hrs itu, so forth n so on. tuh kan hrs kuat. haha
anddd yeah, I think during that time, I was just not strong enough to walk in a new path with a wounded leg. I was just too afraid to stumble and fall in the same hole. (aseeek analoginya! haha) that was why I haven't been brave enough to start the new path. i was just not strong enough.
but, now, I declare that I regain my strength and I'm strong enough to wander again. :)
Rabu, 13 April 2011
Selasa, 05 April 2011
I get the Fullbright Scholarshippp!!
Woohoooooooo, today I'm so blessed. From morning til evening, I experienced my day as usual. Announcing, practicing debate, doing team assignments, eating, and going back to dorm. butt, when I opened my laptop and signed in to my mail, my eyes stuck at an email from AMINEF (American Indonesian Exchange Foundation). then my heart pumped my blood up so fast. I wasnt brave to see the email. But finally when I opened it, I was so damn surprised seeing the first word :congratulation!
then I read all the letter. andddd I'm accepted as one of The global undergraduate exchange Program 2011 in USA!!! I will spend 6months to study in the university there!
it was so unbelievable. I read, read, and read again. i read it almost 3times to make sure that i'm in! haha.
and yeah, i'm in!
Really. It's such a pleasure for me to get this golden opportunity.
I also humbly dedicate my achievement to my lovely parents, my sists and bro, my big family, my lecturer, my teachers, and also my friends. without them, I won't be able to arrive at the point where I'm now.
and the best part of this is that I feel blessed with all people surrounding me who love me so much!
some of my friends even successfully made me barely cry with all the greetings!
I love you all guys!
and for other who wanna join, please dont hesitate to ask me and see the big poster on the 3rd floor of FISIP.
then I read all the letter. andddd I'm accepted as one of The global undergraduate exchange Program 2011 in USA!!! I will spend 6months to study in the university there!
it was so unbelievable. I read, read, and read again. i read it almost 3times to make sure that i'm in! haha.
and yeah, i'm in!
Really. It's such a pleasure for me to get this golden opportunity.
I also humbly dedicate my achievement to my lovely parents, my sists and bro, my big family, my lecturer, my teachers, and also my friends. without them, I won't be able to arrive at the point where I'm now.
and the best part of this is that I feel blessed with all people surrounding me who love me so much!
some of my friends even successfully made me barely cry with all the greetings!
I love you all guys!
and for other who wanna join, please dont hesitate to ask me and see the big poster on the 3rd floor of FISIP.
Senin, 04 April 2011
the analogy from Bawa Muhaiyaddeen, the Sufist
Ketika air hujan berkumpul dan akan ada bahaya dari banjir, apa yang kita butuhkan adalah sebuah bendungan untuk menampung air.
Kita memilih untuk menghentikan laju air atau mengalihkannya. Hal yang sama, ketika pikiran kekanakan membanjiri akal pikiran dan kearifan kita dengan air yang keruh dari keraguan dan ketidakpedulian, apa yang kita butuhkan adalah bendungan dari kearifan dan iman yang sempurna.
Kita harus memilih apakah mengalihkan pikiran-pikiran keruh mengalir menuju lautan ilusi atau menampung air yang keruh dengan bendungan yang kuat untuk mengalirkannya menuju danau. Jika bendungan dari iman dan kearifan yang sempurna bisa dibangun, kotoran akan mengendap kedasar danau, dan engkau akan bisa menggunakan airnya yang bersih untuk diminum atau untuk menyediakan air bagi ternak-ternak dan ladangmu.
Kita memilih untuk menghentikan laju air atau mengalihkannya. Hal yang sama, ketika pikiran kekanakan membanjiri akal pikiran dan kearifan kita dengan air yang keruh dari keraguan dan ketidakpedulian, apa yang kita butuhkan adalah bendungan dari kearifan dan iman yang sempurna.
Kita harus memilih apakah mengalihkan pikiran-pikiran keruh mengalir menuju lautan ilusi atau menampung air yang keruh dengan bendungan yang kuat untuk mengalirkannya menuju danau. Jika bendungan dari iman dan kearifan yang sempurna bisa dibangun, kotoran akan mengendap kedasar danau, dan engkau akan bisa menggunakan airnya yang bersih untuk diminum atau untuk menyediakan air bagi ternak-ternak dan ladangmu.
The Inspiring Theosophical Discussion
Last Sunday, I joined the theosophical discussion. Actually It had been my 3rd time to join. But last meeting was totally inspiring for me.
The theme was Islam Sufi: Personal experience and awakening of Sufist.
The discussion was led by Mbak Tessa, who has lot of experiences that successfully made me dumbfounded!
Initially I went there because I wanted to know more about Sufi. What I've been knowing, Sufi is one sect of Islam who separate themselves from mundane (political and social) by living in mountain and experiencing the extreme and tough life. That's what they do in searching their God.
But yesterday I knew the history of Sufi and what's the essence from their action.
Sufi literally means wool because in the past Sufist used only wool for their clothes as the rejection to the mundane life. or Sufist can be a front liners. because when they did Sholat, they used to take the front line as the form of their commitment in interpret religion as a facilty to God, not only for a symbol.
These are some points that I noted from the core value of Sufi and Mbak Tessa's response:
1. The Key of happiness is lower expectation
to get what's so called happiness, you must have lower expectation. It's line with Buddhism that the root of all problems is the desire. the more you exaggerate your desire, the more you suffer!
2. Ambillah makanan yang hanya bisa kamu jangkau! - was taken from Prophet's story-
it means dont be greedy! see how many people try to do this and that and finally they fall in desperation because they cant attain that.
3. Bagus tuh kalau orang bingung, itu namanya kamu hidup.
This was the response from Mbak Tessa when someone declared bout her perplexity in what actually life is for. this response also did answer my inner question and yeah she told us that dont be afraid if you started to be critical and ask anything bout life, it means you are alive and you are sane. insane people even dont have any question. So dont be afraid to face that perplexity, you will find the answer by your own way.
4. Dont think the fish's head all the time.
This was taken from the one of the Islam Prophet's story. one day, there was a spiritual teacher ( I dont remember the name) who asked his student to go to another teacher's house. only to deliver his greetings. This teacher lived in a very filthy house, so it internalized to the student's mind that every teacher should be live in austerity. But how dumbfounded he was, when he arrived in another teacher's house and it was unbelievably luxurious. Then after the student delivered his teacher's greeting to this another teacher, he got the message from this 2nd teacher to be delivered again to his teacher. The message was 'dont think the fish's head all the time'. Although the student confused, he kept telling his teacher the message. then abruptly his teacher cried. the student who very confused bout his teacher's reaction, kept asking why on earth suddenly the teacher cried. and the teacher said that everyday he only ate fish's head and bring the fish's meat to unfortunate children. and he was really proud to do that. he felt like he was the hero. meanwhile, this another teacher, although he had abundant of money and extravagant house, his mind never clung on his wealth. The teacher felt so embarrassed when his mind kept clinging on the pride to be a hero.
So, next time you meet a very rich man, dont judge him easily as a cocky man. because perhaps we re more cocky than them. yeah who knows? we arent in their position so just dont judge. (haha. i'm still learning too)
After all, I think Sufi embraces the basic reason of why and what's for human live, regardless what religion you believe in. I dont want to be trapped by the linguistic or jargons because I think those jargons only detract the real essence of that basic reason. I believe every religion has this basic. for example, Islam has the concept of stage until you achieve an unity with God, such as: syariat-thariqat-haqiqat-and marifat.
syariat is the practical thingy and the highest stage is marifat when you are united with God.
Most of people are still in syariat. We can see how many people do practical worships, such as sholat or going to church or chanting. they also meek to the religion's prohibitions, like dont kill, dont steal, dont lie, etc.
If you have felt confused itself, Mbak Tessa told that it means we are on the way to the next stage, which is Thariqat. For the haqiqat, I dont really get what he meant.
But what I understand, after you ward off your mundane, take off all your desire, you can be united with God.
I think this kind of stages concept also happen in Buddhism , especially in meditation stages(well, at least I dont know yet whether this also happens in other religion) . For example: Sotapattimagga and phala; Sakadagamimagga and phalla; anagamimagga and phala, and arahattamagga and phala (this is the highest, you wont be born again)
in Buddhism, the concept of God is different. we dont use personification in describing God. for example we dont perceive God as the one who can be angry, the one who can be happy if we do good things. We perceive God as something is beyond human's mind and imagination. indefinite explanation.
that's why we say that God is not born, that's why God will not die, and That's why God is eternal.
we usually call this God's concept as a Nibbana. as the final destination that want to be achieved by every human being.
although we dont mention literally 'God' in our bible, but we take Nibbana as our God. because for many religions, God is their final goal. They do good deeds, in order to please God and to live in heaven. That's the same thing that Buddhists do.
so,I come to the final conclusion that regardless what title or name of your religion, It's actually there is one basic reason and purpose of why we are here. we just dont find it yet. we are still on the way.
The theme was Islam Sufi: Personal experience and awakening of Sufist.
The discussion was led by Mbak Tessa, who has lot of experiences that successfully made me dumbfounded!
Initially I went there because I wanted to know more about Sufi. What I've been knowing, Sufi is one sect of Islam who separate themselves from mundane (political and social) by living in mountain and experiencing the extreme and tough life. That's what they do in searching their God.
But yesterday I knew the history of Sufi and what's the essence from their action.
Sufi literally means wool because in the past Sufist used only wool for their clothes as the rejection to the mundane life. or Sufist can be a front liners. because when they did Sholat, they used to take the front line as the form of their commitment in interpret religion as a facilty to God, not only for a symbol.
These are some points that I noted from the core value of Sufi and Mbak Tessa's response:
1. The Key of happiness is lower expectation
to get what's so called happiness, you must have lower expectation. It's line with Buddhism that the root of all problems is the desire. the more you exaggerate your desire, the more you suffer!
2. Ambillah makanan yang hanya bisa kamu jangkau! - was taken from Prophet's story-
it means dont be greedy! see how many people try to do this and that and finally they fall in desperation because they cant attain that.
3. Bagus tuh kalau orang bingung, itu namanya kamu hidup.
This was the response from Mbak Tessa when someone declared bout her perplexity in what actually life is for. this response also did answer my inner question and yeah she told us that dont be afraid if you started to be critical and ask anything bout life, it means you are alive and you are sane. insane people even dont have any question. So dont be afraid to face that perplexity, you will find the answer by your own way.
4. Dont think the fish's head all the time.
This was taken from the one of the Islam Prophet's story. one day, there was a spiritual teacher ( I dont remember the name) who asked his student to go to another teacher's house. only to deliver his greetings. This teacher lived in a very filthy house, so it internalized to the student's mind that every teacher should be live in austerity. But how dumbfounded he was, when he arrived in another teacher's house and it was unbelievably luxurious. Then after the student delivered his teacher's greeting to this another teacher, he got the message from this 2nd teacher to be delivered again to his teacher. The message was 'dont think the fish's head all the time'. Although the student confused, he kept telling his teacher the message. then abruptly his teacher cried. the student who very confused bout his teacher's reaction, kept asking why on earth suddenly the teacher cried. and the teacher said that everyday he only ate fish's head and bring the fish's meat to unfortunate children. and he was really proud to do that. he felt like he was the hero. meanwhile, this another teacher, although he had abundant of money and extravagant house, his mind never clung on his wealth. The teacher felt so embarrassed when his mind kept clinging on the pride to be a hero.
So, next time you meet a very rich man, dont judge him easily as a cocky man. because perhaps we re more cocky than them. yeah who knows? we arent in their position so just dont judge. (haha. i'm still learning too)
After all, I think Sufi embraces the basic reason of why and what's for human live, regardless what religion you believe in. I dont want to be trapped by the linguistic or jargons because I think those jargons only detract the real essence of that basic reason. I believe every religion has this basic. for example, Islam has the concept of stage until you achieve an unity with God, such as: syariat-thariqat-haqiqat-and marifat.
syariat is the practical thingy and the highest stage is marifat when you are united with God.
Most of people are still in syariat. We can see how many people do practical worships, such as sholat or going to church or chanting. they also meek to the religion's prohibitions, like dont kill, dont steal, dont lie, etc.
If you have felt confused itself, Mbak Tessa told that it means we are on the way to the next stage, which is Thariqat. For the haqiqat, I dont really get what he meant.
But what I understand, after you ward off your mundane, take off all your desire, you can be united with God.
I think this kind of stages concept also happen in Buddhism , especially in meditation stages(well, at least I dont know yet whether this also happens in other religion) . For example: Sotapattimagga and phala; Sakadagamimagga and phalla; anagamimagga and phala, and arahattamagga and phala (this is the highest, you wont be born again)
in Buddhism, the concept of God is different. we dont use personification in describing God. for example we dont perceive God as the one who can be angry, the one who can be happy if we do good things. We perceive God as something is beyond human's mind and imagination. indefinite explanation.
that's why we say that God is not born, that's why God will not die, and That's why God is eternal.
we usually call this God's concept as a Nibbana. as the final destination that want to be achieved by every human being.
although we dont mention literally 'God' in our bible, but we take Nibbana as our God. because for many religions, God is their final goal. They do good deeds, in order to please God and to live in heaven. That's the same thing that Buddhists do.
so,I come to the final conclusion that regardless what title or name of your religion, It's actually there is one basic reason and purpose of why we are here. we just dont find it yet. we are still on the way.
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